David Beckham’s baby girl – a tabloid review
Steve Harper Beckham?
Victoria Beckham has given birth to the Beckham’s fourth child and first daughter. Apologies for the lack of photo above, but OTP was unfortunate to lose out in the bidding process for exclusive first photo rights. Just not quite enough in the coffers.
The child will be named Harper Seven Beckham, with the Seven reference not a reference to David’s United days but instead because it’s “a lucky happy number”.
That’s the whole story, so rather than waffle on we can look at a few choice quotes from our tabloid newspapers. They are infatuated by Posh and Goldenballs, you see.
“Victoria, 37, has appeared in glossy mag Harper’s Bazaar several times” – The Sun goes all left field on what led to the name choice of the baby.
“The Seven in the name is believed to be a reference to David’s football number when he played for Manchester United and England” – The Daily Mail choose to ignore the real reason for the middle name.
“The pair are also said to be ‘stunned’ because the little girl looks so much like Victoria did when she was a baby.” – To be honest that’s sort of to do with genetics, so not a massive surprise. Probably didn’t expect David to get his head round that.
The Mirror chose to refer back to the baby shower with some ground breaking news: “The former Spice Girl even abandoned her trademark pout and broke into a smile” – Dreadful journalism, I think we are all agreed.
However, and we should not be surprised, the Daily Star excels itself as we save the best ’til last:
“The tot has already been tipped to be the world’s next big fashion icon.” – Just no
“Last night a family friend appeared to give the name away by congratulating them on “gorgeous baby Beverly”” – Just no
“This girl will catwalk out of the womb with style and grace. With her parents being such fashion icons, style is in this baby’s DNA.” – Just no
I’m going to go and scratch my eyes out.