OTP End of Premier League Season Awards 2011/12
Welcome to the OTP End of Premier League Season Awards 2011/12. Unfortunately, our budget isn’t exactly at Oscars level… so we’ll leave you in the hands of your master of ceremonies… Garth Crooks.
Player of the Season: Robin Van Persie. Boringly predictable, we know, but what can you do?
Cult Figure of the Season: Mario Balotelli. He has kept us entertained and supplied with humorous stories all season long.
Goal of the Season: Peter Crouch.
The Charles N’Zogbia Award For Misplaced Transfer Ambition: Dorus De Vries. Swansea’s number one during their promotion season decided he wasn’t going to be a one-season wonder in the Premier League. He jumped ship to Wolves, where he’s sat on the bench for most of the season and got relegated.
Pundit of the Season: Gary Neville. Everyone was waiting for outlandish, biased statements in favour of Manchester United, but there hasn’t really been any. Sensible, considered, fair analysis has been the mark of Nev’s work this season. And he hasn’t worn his United club tie once on Monday Night Football.
The Jason Lee Award for Worst Hair of the Season: Raul Meireles. We all know you’re bald, Raul. The most elaborate combover in history is not going to change that fact.
The Peter Crouch Award for Punching Above Your Weight: It’s a joint award to Newcastle and Swansea. Both were tipped for relegation (with varying degrees of conviction) and both have over-achieved massively.
The Rodeo Bull Award for Hanging On Against The Odds: Steve Kean. A football manager has never faced such on-field failure and off-field controversy and still kept their job.
The New Kids On The Block Award for Outstanding Comeback: Paul Scholes. Arguably the man who set-up yesterday’s dramatic finale. Without him, United may have been dead and buried long ago.
The Financial Times Award for Boosting the GDP of Various European Countries: Manchester City. Their big-spending won the title… and staved off a bailout in Spain.
The Malcolm Tucker Award for Crisis Management: Liverpool. Unfortunately, Ian Ayre couldn’t be here to collect the award for the Reds’ impressive handling of the Luis Suarez situation, so he’s sent a parcel bomb instead.