Top 10 conclusions: Premier League weekend, 28-29 September
1. You’d have got great odds betting on champions Manchester United being below two newly promoted sides in the table after six games.
2. Manchester has gone from being 50 per cent miserable last Monday to 100 per cent miserable this Monday.
3. Luis Suarez is back with a bang. Can we resist the ‘more bite to their attack’ puns? Either way, he’s taken some weight off Daniel Sturridge’s shoulders.
4. Is it back on again? Jose Mourinho and Andre Villas Boas swapped phone numbers: it’s a love story for the Premier League age.
5. The Aaron Ramsey death curse seems to have lifted but with another goal against Swansea at the weekend, we’re concerned he might be building up towards armageddon.
6. That Arsenal youngster Serge looks like he’s Gnabry a decent stand-in for Theo Walcott.
7. El Nino is actually El Gato. Fernando Torres got his claws out against Spurs and is now set for the most embarrassing violent conduct ban of all time.
8. Ironically, after several transfer windows linking them with a move for Hulk, it turned out Chelsea just needed to get their existing hopeless striker angry to get the best out of him. The wound-up Torres looked dangerous.
9. City can’t win away, United can’t win: this could be an interesting title race.
10. Saido Berahino deserves a pay-rise.