Divine intervention – Football Focus fire alarm cuts off Martin Keown mid-sentence
We knew the Tyne and Wear derby would be a hell-raising affair, but not so fiery that a mere pre-match discussion of the dual would set off the fire alarm. That appeared to be the case in the Football Focus studio in Salford on Saturday as a loud fire siren did the right thing and cut off Martin Keown mid-glaringly-obvious-sentence.
Unfortunately, the sprinklers never let loose and so we were denied the answer to one of the most heated questions in football – who would win in a wet t-shirt competition, Keown or Lawro?
Speaking as a former fire marshall in an office workplace, OTP is disgusted at Dan Walker’s disregard for the fire alarm. Guideline 25b clearly dictates that employees drop everything and gather at their designated staff assembly point. This didn’t happen and so the viewer cruelly missed out on Lawro and Keown lining up with Sue Barker, George Allagiah, Pudsey Bear and a bevy of Blue Peter presenters.
Most unsavoury of all is Walker’s statement (or indeed threat) that Martin will “get his hose out” to extinguish any potential fire. Although simply a well-meaning quip, it delivers a truly reprehensible image in to the letterbox of our brains.
It’s still not clear who or what started the fire alarm. We know Noel Gallagher very recently recorded an interview with Mario Balotelli in Manchester for the BBC, so that is a delicious outside bet. OTP will spend the rest of the day lying back and dreaming of what unholy chaos that collision could have created.