We all had the instinct that professional footballers have too much on their hands – but now we finally have it indisputably confirmed.
Step forward Reading centre-back Sean Morrison. For no discernible reason, he’s challenging himself to sample every single cereal for sale down his local supermarket.
We’ll hand it over to Sean himself to try and explain.
He said “Cereal Quest starts on Monday, officially. I’m just going to have to go into ASDA and start from the bottom of the aisle and work my way through. I want to be a cereal connoisseur because my typical choice at the moment is Golden Grahams or Golden Nuggets — anything golden.”
Continuing his surreal stream of cereal consciousness and offering an apparent ‘come feed me’ plea to one brand in particular, Morrison chirped: “I eat a lot of cereal and that’s what I snack on when I go home. At 10 o’clock, watching Australian MasterChef on my TV catch-up, I’ll get a bowl of Golden Grahams. So that’s why Cereal Quest has come about because I need to try and educate myself and let people know what the best cereal out there is.”
Well, on behalf of the footballing and human fraternity, we would like to thank Sean for helping to take us out of our ignorant and narrow-minded cereal choice routine and illuminarimg our breakfast lives with new and exciting options. God bless you, sir.
In his final monologue of oddly absorbing nonsense reminiscent of Ricky Gervais’ pin cushion Karl Pilkington, Morrison added: “I’m not looking forward to the mueslis and the big Shredded Wheat — I’m not a fan of that, never was. I think I’ve bitten off more than I can chew.
“It’s going to take a long time to go through every cereal. I need to find out who else at the training ground is really into their cereal. Otherwise I might have to put an advert in the paper for some help.”
A noble call to arms if every we have heard one. Good luck Sean, we sincerely hope you don’t flake out on this mighty challenge.
Happy Cereal Quest everyone. Regrettable cereal puns in the comments section are strongly encouraged.
Image: Ben McLeod