Ronaldo can´t get himself a new club, so he has got himself a new country

Given that the demon drink has scuppered the careers of so many British talents, Off The Post could forgive itself a little smirk as Brazil´s most recent golden generation are one-by-one claimed by the demons of fast-food and a fast lifestyle. Is this cruel? No, because we are laughing with them not at them. The biggest (in every sense) Brazilian in this current predicament, Ronaldo, seems to find his situation hilarious.

The supersized striker has been joking about his lack of a club after turning up to train with the Bolivian national team. He joked: “I’m the new signing of the Bolivian national team.” That is like Wayne Rooney going to train with Wales if he gets too fat. I think I would stick to the nightclubs!