Gary Glitter's bid for Alexandre Pato turned down

Monster fails to lure young striker

AC Milan have revealed they have turned down a “monster offer” for Brazilian starlet Alexandre Pato. Vice president Adriano Galliani said: “The only offer that arrived was a monster offer from England, but there were and are no doubts regarding his future.”

Galliani stopped short of naming where the bid came from, but OTP put its investigative journalism skills to the test to get to the bottom of the matter. A quick trawl of the tabloids’ archives revealed that the only monster from England capable of making such a bid is, in fact, Gary Glitter.