Hang on a minute…
In the coverage that we saw last night, England beat Germany in Berlin. But in the parallel universe in which Eurosport exists the Three Lions were once again slain by Diego Maradona. A Eurosport hack who got a bit caught up in the Terry Butcher furore decided to write that Argentina had managed to “down England”.
That is assuming Butcher hasn’t used his position on the Scottish bench to mount some sort of Wooden Horse of Troy invasion and Scotland is now part of England. Or maybe the headline should read: “Maradona’s Argentina drive down to England.”
This one’s for you, pooch
Germany striker Patrick Helmes had revealed pre-match that he was hoping for a goal against England to dedicate to his dead dog - and he duly delivered. When Helmes took advantage of the Scott Carson/John Terry fiasco to find the net, his first reaction was to point to doggy heaven.
The Bayer Leverkusen striker had said: “My dog was just like a little baby to me. I wept all day long after she died. Now every time I score a goal I point my finger to the heavens and think about Emmy. Read more »
The walking wounded Fabio Capello is without
With Theo Walcott the latest withdrawal from the England squad after dislocating his shoulder (Arsene Wenger probably popped it out before he left the Emirates), we look at what could have been FabCap’s team against Germany tonight if they weren’t all crocked. Read more »
Racial stereotyping for dummies
England’s inexperienced squad were hoping to get some much needed practice ahead of their friendly against Germany but those pesky Germans had other ideas. Miroslav Klose and company were up first and had put their beach towels on all the best spots on the training pitch!
I’m Spartacus!
England’s newest squad member Michael Mancienne looks like the son of Kirk Douglas, but without the Welsh wife. We have heard the expression that good centre-backs keep strikers in their pocket. In Mancienne’s case he could probably keep a Michael Owen-sized attacker within his chin cavity.
Chelsea youngster set for England call-up
If you believe the rumours today then the answer is yes. Chelsea youngster Michael Mancienne, currently on-loan at Wolves, is being tipped as the surprise name in Fabio Capello’s squad to face Germany in Berlin next week.
The 20-year-old is being tipped by The Sun for a call-up after reportedly impressing FabCap with his performances for Wolves and England Under 21s. He has yet to feature for Chelsea’s first team.
David James and David Beckham are expected to be left in the cold as Capello runs the rule over his youthful prospects, including Joe Hart and Gabriel Agbonlahor.
A sauce close to the England squad is now out-of-bounds
When during the latest England scandal, The Sun inevitably digs out a quote from “a source close to the England squad” we often wondered whether this was the squad’s favoured tomato sauce doing the dirty on them. But from now on we cannot blame the ketchup because it has been BANNED by Fabio Capello! Read more »
12 from 12 for Fabio’s boys
1. Wayne Rooney is Samson in reverse. His England goal drought is well and truly over. Keep that head bald and keep the goals coming, Wazza.
2. Steven Gerrard’s international career is not over. That talk was brought on by a distinct lack of football news this week, methinks. He wasn’t even dropped and he produced his best England performance for years, arguably since Munich (oops, I said the M word).
3. It is all very well to boo Ashley Cole when he makes the odd mistake (as we all do), but the fact that it would have been easier to cheer Wayne Bridge when he did something right should put things into perspective for the boo-boys. Read more »
A fantastic dummy run to lose his man, a superb pass by Steven Gerrard (yes, he of no England future), quick feet by Rooney and a wonderful finish. Colleen, give that head the once over before every England game, please.
The best (successful) move by and England side in years.
Ahead of tonight’s clash with England, we give you the lowdown on all things Belarus 1. Alexander Hleb
The former Arsenal man was a Gunners favourite (at least until he started shooting his mouth off about the club and making is very clear that he wanted to leave to join Barcelona. The midfielder is almost certainly ruled out of tonight’s clash with a knee injury, but that is not stopping Barca having kittens that he is going to play regardless!
2. Vyacheslav Hleb
Alex’s baby brother is likely to be the only Hleb troubling England tonight. The 25-year-old thought he had secured his move west this summer when a loan deal with Dutch outfit Roda JC seemed to be on the cards, but the move fell through at the last minute. He remains confined to the Belarusian Premier League with FC MTZ-RIPO. The critics say he has all of his brother’s talent and very little of his application. Judge for yourselves tonight. Read more »
