Rob Parker | October 22, 2009
Hold on to your Ballacks. Frings are getting dangerous
The security team responsible for ensuring the safety of the Germany national team has warned that players will be expected to wear bullet-proof vests during next summer’s World Cup. While the garments will probably not be compulsory on the pitch, the squad will be expected to wear [...]
David Hardy | October 12, 2009
1. Even great defenders can forget how to defend
Rio Ferdinand picked up from his shocker in the Manchester derby last month with another somewhat dubious display of decision-making as Robert Green became England’s first dismissal of the Capello era. However, the game presented a perfect ‘can do no wrong’ opportunity for the English: win [...]
Rob Parker | June 30, 2009
Video highlights (if that’s the right word) followed by OTP’s summary
1. Ouch! That title hurt to write, even if it was broken up a bit by the ‘U21′ bits.
2. Congratulations to Ballack-era Bayer Leverkusen on becoming the best youngsters in Europe.
3. Joe Hart, Fraizer Campbell and Gabriel Agbonlahor was at least one suspension too far [...]
Rob Parker | April 7, 2009
Ouch! Likes like that rectum
You know you are getting old when the doctor stops taking an interest in your Ballacks and is suddenly a lot more interested in your backside (nicked from Billy Connolly, I think!). Anyway, Michael Ballack was suddenly forced to consider his mortality after having a prostate examination foisted upon him by [...]
Rob Parker | November 25, 2008
Prat tries to make name for himself - was possibly bullied at school
Everyone knows how multiple bookings work in football. Sometimes a scuffle or incident needs to be resolved with more than one player being carded, so the referee shows the card to each player he needs to book. Until now that is.
With all the [...]
Rob Parker | November 19, 2008
This one’s for you, pooch
Germany striker Patrick Helmes had revealed pre-match that he was hoping for a goal against England to dedicate to his dead dog - and he duly delivered. When Helmes took advantage of the Scott Carson/John Terry fiasco to find the net, his first reaction was to point to doggy heaven.
The Bayer [...]
Rob Parker | November 19, 2008
The walking wounded Fabio Capello is without
With Theo Walcott the latest withdrawal from the England squad after dislocating his shoulder (Arsene Wenger probably popped it out before he left the Emirates), we look at what could have been FabCap’s team against Germany tonight if they weren’t all crocked.
